I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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