2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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