If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
