I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize