i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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