Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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