guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Ketchup is God's man juice
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
