is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
