an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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