I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
