once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
