u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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