you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
