life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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