whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
