I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
