my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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