I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
