I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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