Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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