You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
