i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
