Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
