the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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