in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
