Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
