i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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