If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's get the cat blown out
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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