The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
