I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
