beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
