just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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