can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
