He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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