2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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