Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
