Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
