he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
