that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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