my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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