Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My vagina is officially offended.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
