No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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