Do you still have your period?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
