Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
