I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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