so that wasnt chicken after all
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
