I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
