he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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