you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
