hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
