the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
