I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want nice things and good sex
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize