U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
