Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
