The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
