we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
