in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
