id be glad to
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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