The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
