i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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