i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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