there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
