I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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