and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's always time for handjobs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
